PDA

View Full Version : planning my next life


toolman
08-06-2011, 11:42 AM
Often folks will ask what would I change if I were to have another life to live from scratch. Well, after pondering all the alternatives, I finally decided how it would be structured. So, here is the plan:


I want to live my next life backwards. I start out dead and get that ugly
part out of the way right off the bat.

Then, I wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When I am finally kicked out of the home for being too healthy, I spend several
years enjoying my retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When I start work, I get a gold watch on my first day.

I work 45 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon I’m too
young to work.

Then I'd go to college, pretend to study, party, play doctor with all the cute ladies, and drink a lot more.

So then, I go to high school and play sports, date, drink, and party.

As I get even younger, I become a kid again. I go to elementary school, play,
and have no responsibilities whatsoever.

In a few years, I become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping me happy.

I spend my last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap and someone
singing to me relaxing lullabies.

Until finally...I finish off as an orgasm.

Bill Gailey
08-06-2011, 02:13 PM
and that ladies and gentlemen is the rest of the story

crewdawg52
08-07-2011, 08:53 AM
Until finally...I finish off as an orgasm.

Wouldnt you finish off as a thought in some guys brain?

BruceB
08-07-2011, 09:45 AM
Wouldnt you finish off as a thought in some guys brain?

Or waving at a set of tonsils on your way by.:eek:

SmokinLee
08-07-2011, 11:18 AM
Cute! Daddy's little squirt.

crewdawg52
08-07-2011, 12:05 PM
Or waving at a set of tonsils on your way by.:eek:

Obviously you didnt pass biology or sex education Dr Oz. Please enlighten us on how one in 300 million could become baby Toolman while passing a uvula or set of tonsils. More than likely he would've ended up on the floor or killed by stomach acid. :cool:

tearl42
08-07-2011, 07:47 PM
Obviously you didnt pass biology or sex education Dr Oz. Please enlighten us on how one in 300 million could become baby Toolman while passing a uvula or set of tonsils. More than likely he would've ended up on the floor or killed by stomach acid. :cool:

Washed down the drain in the shower or in a tissue...

How much farther do we want to take this?


---
I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=42.638504,-83.363650

spydermike72
08-08-2011, 04:04 AM
It aint going much further...